I played a wedding gig with Monte Carlo Band last night at a vinyard in Santa Ynez, CA. It was very cold! It made our fingers cold and the groove strange at first. Playing outside is a completely different experience for musicians. We can’t hear ourselves the way we normally do. The sound does not reflect back to us, it just runs away in every direction. We were surrounded by some bushes to our backs, the sound guy seemed to think that it would create our own natural ‘reverb’. But I didn’t hear any of that. After the sun went down, the bushes mostly provided a space of mysterious darkness behind the bright lighted stage area we were performing on. After the gig, Marc said there was a duck in the bushes.

I tried to set up a recording for the dance set, but my jury-rigged mini-disc setup wasn’t working. So no audio this time.

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here I am, wondering what I should be doing with my life. no matter what, something else will always seem better than what I am doing now. the past the future. if I could see myself now from the outside, from someone else’s eyes, I’d probably be jealous. saying to myself, I wish I had done with my life what that person is doing. It’s always easier for you to look somewhere else rather than to own up to your own life and give yourself credit for it. Not that I shouldn’t be trying to go somewhere, but I won’t get anywhere unless I really understand who I am now.

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